“In 1978 I was born, not only a black scapegoat”, but also a Capricorn.
By profession an IT specialist, single and without children, 50:50 artist/technician, open and honest, curious and eager to learn, atheist, taxpayer (yes, no kids at the moment!), otherwise maximally non-conformist and a freely thinking free spirit. 🤷♂️
I was assigned German citizenship at birth. I grew up in a small village in the Hochwald and now live on the Moselle in Trier. Otherwise I am simply “myself” — just a “free world citizen,” no matter where I am or where I live. By necessity, I have become my own hobby psychologist when it comes to my own life, and I have grown up in a poisoned society and family. I have already occupied the “position” of the black sheep in my family and therefore in life in general, and in such a society, on the playing field of the dysfunctional and toxic “games of life” and all their “game systems,” with their legions of intellectual and emotional “hooligans,” constantly and everywhere, in packed stadiums.
And the first system in which I was knowingly the black sheep, an outsider by definition — in one of the “standard subsystems” where, as a teenager, I “got to learn so much about people and our society” — was in our glorious school system and at an old-fashioned Gymnasium, where someone “recommended” me and then I just had to “endure it” for six years.
I had the old choice, to fight or to flee, and I chose to be “the outsider,” in the end basically the first — outwardly. And despite my rocky path, and especially the experiences of recent years in our today’s perverse and dehumanized society, I can clearly state: personally, I did everything right — for myself. I have become strong, resilient, and above all reasonably knowledgeable. I have walked my own personal path consistently and independently within my possibilities, and through that I have become a truly individual and therefore strong personality.
But above all, I have become an upright and honest human being whose concern is always the welfare of everybody, personally and fundamentally. That has become and still is incredibly valuable to me personally, and because of that I personally belong today not just to a minority anymore, but probably to a rarity.
An outsider, fundamentally and now “finally freed from any group affiliation,” triggered by a double hard crash at work with so-called colleagues and friends — but above all in my own toxic family. There, I already had the “black sheep position” from day one, and today in a society like this, inevitably everywhere anyway.
For years, I have bravely spooned this toxic soup of an ever-worsening mutating system and its predominantly toxic mob of role-playing humans again and again — and especially since a fantasy pandemic, at ever higher frequency and with ever more malicious behavior even into the most personal circles, I have simply gotten more and more of other people’s personal poison.
And all of that just because I remained true to myself and, above all, true to the whole truth — and personally simply strive for “justice for all.” Because of that, in 2023 I fell very deep, with a lot of personal pain and suffering. But even if my life is now “just a pile of broken pieces,” a system no longer crushes me. And from all that abysmally bad stuff I now make, thanks in particular to exactly this bad black sheep position, which I now use all the more, something good out of everything — for myself personally and also for the general public. But again, only according to my own personal rules.
Because what happens in this society on all levels and in every layer, what conditioned people in groups do as if it were natural today — and again in this country of all places — with other people, either on their own or first by command, that makes me afraid and anxious when I look into this dark future that must and will inevitably come.
They say “histories repeat themselves,” and not without reason. Or do they?
All of this just leaves me speechless, and I would never have dreamed that it could ever come to this again in this country. And especially the “fantasy pandemic” was then once again the booster of personal eye-opening for me, with a worrying realization about the general state of the German person and thus our society as a whole.
I let go of everything one last time, made the cut that was necessary, and at the same time went so far that I voluntarily remained a citizen-money recipient — as a personal experiment. And for that, I personally now also give up many things in my life and my usual “luxury” as well.
Because despite everything, just the time gained exclusively for myself became a special personal value — after 25 years continuously in the grind of the work system.
And as a result, everything in my life became even much worse for me personally — and solely caused by the personal malice of other people, especially those genetically connected to me.
But I see it also as a kind of duty for myself to fight against the system and for justice. And despite the fact that I personally have had to suffer continuously because of this for almost two years, I will at least be able to document my personal example as something valuable for the public, and I will continue exactly like that, because that is exactly what is urgently needed — for the whole truth.
What I absolutely will not give up anymore is to continue to hold the bar for future people in my life just as high as it has hung for these last two years — without exceptions and finally.
And through all this I have also discovered my enthusiasm for storytelling. I now write down my entire life as one big story — just unfiltered, nothing more.
